SELLERS:
1. Signs, signs, and more signs....
You cannot put out enough signs directing people to your sale. We (The Buyers) are all sick and tired of chasing down a sale only to completely lose track of where it is at because the signs just vanish into thin air. Just because YOU know where you live, doesn't mean we do. You wanna sell your crap? You need to show us where it is first.
2. Quit using the term "Huge" in your ads.
I realize that you think your two card tables full of baby clothes and Tupperware are an endless treasure that people will stagger at the sight of, but the simple fact is, your crazy. In 30 years of hitting weekend sales I don't think I have ever come across a "HUGE" sale that was... well... huge. Here are other terms that should be avoided....
Gigantic, Stupendous, Colossal, Jumbo, Mammoth or Giant.
None of these generally apply to your puny pile of trash. If you put "Huge Yard Sale" as the header on your ad, it better be a good half acre or more of stuff... and if you say "The Mother of all Sales!" on your ad, you should be flogged to within an inch of your life.
3. YOUR USED, BROKEN CRAP IS NOT VALUABLE!
Quit putting ridiculous prices on your garbage. I don't give a flying flip what the almighty eBay has to say on the matter. If you saw one on eBay that sold for a lot, then put it on eBay. Also, don't try and tell me how much you paid for it when it was new, because it is NOT new. You don't care about it; that's why it is sitting in your yard baking in the hot sun on your rickety card table.
Do you want to pack this shit back up and put it all away at the end of the day, or do you want to sell it? Come on, make up your mind, because I would be willing to bet that there is someone two sales away who has the same thing and is willing to part with it for half of what you are asking.
4. Quit selling your family heirlooms, its just plain wrong.
Do you really need that new computer game so badly that you're willing to part with your Grandfathers War medals? What the hell is wrong with you?!?! Are there no values or family pride anymore? If you want to sell some of Grandma's furniture after she goes, hey that's cool. Maybe a few bits of jewelry perhaps? Some nick-nacks or collectables? Hey, man... awesome.
Selling Grandma's locket that was given to her when Grandpa went to War... completely *#@&ed up.
I have seen some appalling things being offered for sale at Estate, Garage and Yard sales and it needs to stop. I am all for scoring on some great vintage items at a sale, but not at the cost of some family member who would have really wanted to pass that item on to their kids, and their kids after that. I love to spend money, but I personally hate handing over my hard earned cash to a heartless, souless troll who would rather have pocket change then their Father's pocket watch. I will happily sacrifice my chance to own some valuable item if it means that someone in the family will enjoy it for it's real value.
Have some pride, Dickhead, quit selling your family history.
6. "No early sales" means just that.
Hey I get it... someone calls you or emails you about your sale and you wanna get this crap sold, so why not let them take a look before anyone else. Hey, whatever floats your boat... but DO NOT put the words "No early sales" on your ad and then let people in. There are few things more annoying then seeing something in a photo on your ad that interests me, only to find out once I arrive to get it that it was sold off two days before the sale even started.
Not cool.
7. If you are having an "Estate Sale", someone better be dead.
Sound heartless? No more so then being the person putting price stickers on a dead mans things.... don't judge.
estate [ih-steyt] noun, The Property of a deceased person.
Before you lecture me on the fact that there are other definitions of the word, we all know what "Estate Sale" is supposed to mean and we as buyers have a certain expectation as to what is behind that door. If your "Estate Sale" consists of two card tables in a garage, it is NOT an Estate Sale. A TRUE Estate Sale is a wonderful treasure trove of thousands of things, strewn throughout the house... and if there is a basement full of stuff... oh man, that's just the best.
Basic rule of thumb, an Estate Sale is the whole house... if you can fit it all in a Garage.... guess what that should be called.
I have little doubt that this list will grow in time... don't worry, I'm not done lecturing you yet.
The Shadow.
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